Feelings. Everyone has them, and handles them differently. Our two-year-old is learning how to navigate the many feelings he has, and we are learning how to guide him. He shows happiness for his favorite toys, activities, and meals by saying things like “Yay! That’s my favorite!” with an excited look on his face. Conversely, it doesn’t take much to upset him—brother takes a toy away, he has to wear a helmet to ride his trike, he can’t play in the dishwasher, etc. This is typical of a two-year-old and also challenging to parents and siblings as far as helping manage the expressive rollercoaster the family goes on with each emotional display.
Through my time here at 4C for Children, I’ve learned a lot about how to be a responsive caregiver. Through responding with empathy and understanding rather than judgment and dismissal, I can help him learn to identify the root cause of his feelings and handle them appropriately. Having phrases such as “Oh, I see tears in your eyes and hear you crying—it looks like you’re feeling upset. I get upset when (insert situation) too” at the ready along with a hug has helped. The situation tends to diffuse faster, and he has started to use feeling words in play.
Putting this knowledge into practice isn’t always an easy task. It takes a fair amount of energy and patience to respond calmly several times in a short time span. I don’t know many parents who have a surplus of energy and patience—I know I certainly don’t! This is why it is even more important to take time for ourselves as parents. We cannot give our best to our children when we don’t get what we need. I try to get as much rest as I can and have found some deep breathing strategies to help me keep myself in a better state to put my knowledge into practice. One of the best ways to support children’s emotional development is to first support our own.